Reassurance

No sooner did I finish my last post, than I decided to go downstairs for a cup of coffee. I'm feeling pretty rotten and wondering why I'm even here today: The computers in the lab aren't working and my class didn't happen.

As I approach the coffee stand, I see one of my favorite students, Luis, who's in my other English class. He greets me in Spanish rather than English as he usually does but seems very surprised when I start talking to him in Spanish. He starts asking me simple questions, as if testing my level of comprehension and then tells me that I had been so dramatic when I said I was still learning Spanish but that I speak very well.

About 10 yards away another (former) student spots me and waves. As he gets closer his eyes start to bug out of his head and he comes up to me and goes "I didn't know you could speak Spanish!!" Luis scolds him and tells him to talk in Spanish, but the other student, who's name escapes me (I taught him for like a week a month ago) looks disappointed and I reassure him that he can practice his English with me if he wants. He gets excited again and invites me to come sit with them.

Suddenly everything seems to get that much better and once again, I'm happy to be here. Happy to be teaching, happy to be learning, happy to be in Colombia.

Frustrations

Its 9am and I'm waiting outside my classroom for the other professor to finish her class and shuffle out her students and I can't help but wish passing time wasn't a foreign concept here. I finally push my way through the crowd of students and into the classroom where I begin to set up for the class I prepared back on Monday.

This class is already way behind where they should be for their midterm and I'm having to plan extra carefully to see what activities I can gloss over without sacrificing the students' understanding of the concepts. But the funny part of teaching is that it doesn't matter how much planning or energy you put into class - the students have to meet you halfway. And the first step on their part is caring enough showing up to class.

So its 9:15 and I'm pretty agitated because the room is still empty. They have a quiz next class, and a Midterm in a week, and we still have over a unit to cover in class. My first and only student out of a class of 8 strolls in at 9:18 and I scold him for being late, knowing that it won't even matter. How can I show him that its important to be on time when no one else in class respects their education or my class enough to even show up? The administrators tell me they deal with this by starting class on time regardless of how many students are there, and that works in my other class, but it won't work when you have no students. You can't start teaching to empty desks and expect that to do anyone any good. And getting frustrated, calling people out, and explaining that class starts at 9, not 9:15 or 9:30 will only get you so far, not to mention it doesn't even work on the students who don't show up. My only hope is that when they see their failing grades due to lack of attendance that they'll make a bigger effort the rest of the semester.

End result: I gave up. I didn't teach any new material - how could I? Instead, I practically gave him what was going to be on the quiz next class.

Nuestra Familia

So as soon as Scott moved in, Catalina called all of us "nuestra familia" or "our family" and for me this name has stuck.

Yesterday the five of us living in the apartment, Jenny, Cata, Leonardo, Scott, and I, went to the Islas de Rosario. Its funny how so fast people can become a part of your "family" and make you realize that blood relations don't matter at all. We experienced it all: the good - fun in the sun and the sand, the peaceful ride there, drinking cocktails in paradise - and the bad - overexposure and lobster red skin (owww), the wild ride back, complete with 2 cases of motion sickness (thankfully I wasn't one of them), and a water-logged phone - but in the end we stuck together like a family and made it home safe and sound after a (mostly) great day.

The Ups and Downs of Things

I use the expression that my life is like a roller coaster a lot, but I think it fits - one moment you're on your way up before having the stomach-dropping fall back down and just before you crash, you make the climb back up again. I think the important thing is that you enjoy the ride, no matter what twists and turns are in store for you.

But like most things in life this is easier said than done. The funny part is that everything in Colombia is great. I love it here and I finally feel like I have some sort of grasp on the language, culture, and the city. I have a lot more to learn about each, but its nice feeling like you have some solid base to start from. I've been spending a lot more time with Jenny and our apartment really does feel like a unique family now. I couldn't have asked for a better living situation and I already know that saying goodbye to her and Cata is going to be the toughest part about leaving. However, I'm sure that wanting to visit them will only make me return to Colombia sooner and its nice to know that I'll always have a "home" in Manga to come back to.

This week I've had numerous conversations with Jenny and other people about so many different aspects of the culture. Gender roles, religion, poverty, language barriers, the concept of time - the list goes on and on. The conversations have helped me to expand my way of thinking and challenge my own assumptions and beliefs. For example, the whole "the woman belongs in the home" mentality has never been my cup of tea, but after hearing Jenny explain how she viewed it, I was definitely able to see it in a new light. When you combine that with the Catholic presence it all starts to make sense as to how and why things are the way they are. That's the cool thing about culture - the more time you take to explore and learn about it, the more other aspects of it make sense.

I even made it to a Catholic Mass last night. And while I was born and raised Catholic, I don't usually consider myself religious. Spiritual yes, but the whole religion thing is something I struggle with. But there is something inspiring and familiar about being in a Catholic church. Even though the mass was in Spanish and the microphone echoing made it difficult to understand the words, I knew exactly what was going on and what was being said.

So going back to the roller coaster analogy, this is definitely the up and up. Now if only things at home would work themselves out then I'd be in a good place...

Photos!!

New phone, new freedom

Yesterday I think I had a breakthrough in my approach to things here. I have been waiting all week for my TN manager to help me get a new phone and when he didn´t show like we planned yesterday afternoon I had one of those perfect cartoon character moments where this giant lightbulb appeared over my head. Why the hell did I need help? I know how to say "I need a phone" and "I want that one" and most of the other things I´d need to say. I knew where I needed to go and exactly what I wanted. I had been allowing myself to fall into the bad habit of dependency.

So, I made the conscious decision to stop the cycle and go and get myself a new phone. Which I did.

Exhaustion

I´m starting to really miss home. Not necessarily people (which of course I do), but even more than that I miss the familiarity associated with home. Being able to go where I want to, when I want to. Knowing how to act and what´s acceptable in certain circumstances. Feeling like I have some sort of grasp on what´s happening around me. Please don´t get me wrong - I love it here and my understanding of the language and culture is constantly improving, but it doesn´t mean its comfortable.

Its very exhausting being alone in a new place and not really having a handle on the language. I feel like I´m a blender, and I´ve been processing things at high speed for the past three weeks - everything is new and exciting and its fun to take it all in and incorporate it with everything else I know and love. But now I feel like I´m ready to slow down a bit and let everything that´s happened so far settle.

I think it would be easier if I could pick up my (hypothetical*) cellphone and just call family and friends whenever I wanted, but its not that easy and I´m coping best I can. We have a new trainee coming tomorrow which should definitely bring in some new energy and excitement! If nothing else, it should decrease the amount of alone time I have in the lab to contemplate all the nitty gritty details of my life.

*hypothetical because I still haven´t replaced the one that was stolen at Carnaval...yes, Arthur has already made me aware of the fact that I may have set a new record for quickest phone theft on a traineeship. Sigh, If it wasn´t this, it would be something else.

Carnaval in Pictures

I almost peed my pants this morning...here´s why

Hi Lindsay,

I am writing to see if you might be interested in interviewing for a position as TA this fall for Educ 271/571. Hope, Siv, Becky, Margot, Katie and I put together a short list of students from class last fall who were both top notch students and would make good TAs. You certainly meet both criteria!

If you are interested and selected you would receive course credit (3cr) for serving as an undergraduate TA. The time commitment would be about 10 hours per week and you would work closely with me, the Graduate Student TA (Siv and maybe one other), and another 2 or even 3 undergraduate TAs.

As a TA, you would help to organize the operations of the course, work with students on assignments, help grade annotations, lead discussion sessions, and generally offer support to the class.

If you are interested, I would like to set up a time for us to conduct a brief "interview" to hear your ideas and interests. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Sincerely,

John

THIS class is the reason why I´m so gung-ho about education policy and by far the BEST class I´ve ever taken! I think I need to do my happy dance again.

Chaos

Aside from the language, I think the hardest thing I´m having to adjust to is the university. Since I started teaching here almost 2 weeks ago it has been nothing but total confusion and chaos - and not because I´m new! My schedule has changed so many times I´ve lost count, and I´ve gone from teaching 0 classes, to 2 classes, to 1 class, to 2 classes, to 4 classes, and now I have no idea how many I´ll actually have next week. The worst part is that it isn´t adding and subtracting the same classes. Its new classes with new levels and new students every time.

As if this isn´t hard enough on the teachers (I´ve planned countless classes that won´t actually be taught, and now will have to whip up lesson plans for 4 new classes this afternoon that who knows if I´ll actually get the chance to teach). But I couldn´t imagine being a student here! Its the end of the second week of classes, and next week they are going to have to adjust to different teachers, different classrooms, and starting from scratch with the material, regardless of what the previous teacher has done. Not to mention we´re supposed to get through 6 units this marking period, which averages out to be a little more than 1 unit a week. Now we´re already 2 units behind and the students will still be expected to know all of the material. Its not fair to the students and its not fair to the teachers.

Ok, my little rant is over. I guess this is just one of those cultural differences I have to get used to...

But because I hate ending things on anything other than a positive note, let me say again how much I LOVE it here. I´m starting to really like the laid back atmosphere, and despite the confusion over everything above, I´m surprisingly not stressed, or even really frustrated. Its more like slightly annoyed. I think it takes a lot to get beyond that point here, because in the grand scheme of things what does it matter? I mean I´m here soaking up the sun and making the most of this experience and whether or not my classes go well won´t change that fact. Besides, I´m learning a lot about teaching which is what I came here to do. In fact, I think dealing with this craziness is teaching me more about the education field than I could ever learn in a classroom. And that, coupled with the invaluable life experience I´m getting is the exact reason why I wanted to do a traineeship in the first place.