This is why I hate being in a car and especially driving

Last night five girls from a neighboring town died in a head on collision, just five days after graduating from high school. There was no substance abuse or fowl play, just an overcorrection to blame that has left the whole greater community in shambles.

It saddens me that it takes a tragedy like this to bring a community together.

Libertarian Socialism?

Just for kicks and giggles I took a political quiz to see where I'd end up and according to the results, I am fall under libertarian left, or libertarian socialism with the likes of Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, and The Dalai Lama.

I suppose that sorta fits.

Light bulb moments and Accepted

So I think I had a revelation today (naturally while throwing) about stress. I'm the type of person who is always stressed about something. If I don't have something real to be stressed about then I create something. Its silly I know, but I always seemed to rationalize it somehow. Its become so silly that lately I have been stressing about not having enough work to do to keep me busy enough during my "40" hour weeks of research. Can you believe it? I usually stress about having too much to do, but when I finally catch a break I don't let myself enjoy it because I start getting paranoid.

Ok, so back to this revelation: I don't have to be stressed. For god's sake, it's summertime! I ought to let myself enjoy the fact that I have free time and can slide by this summer. For the first time ever I don't have such a rigid schedule. I have time to be both a couch potato and a busy bee, and there is no need to feel guilty about the former as long as I don't become a complete lazy bum and are productive at least some of the time. I'm sure other people are going "duh" right now, but this is big for me and it put a smile on my face that's been there ever since.

And just for shits and giggles (and mainly mine and Syd's enjoyment) here are some of the best quotations from the absolutely hilarious and highly addictive Accepted:

• "You're adopted!"
• "This place is awesome! Now I can finally get hepatitis"
• "That is a legit fear...she was rifling through my shit!"
• "It would be really cool if you guys don't tell people I scream like that..."
• "WHAT ARE YOU!!!"
• "It's an explosion of FLAVOR. I'm working with some very unstable herrrrbs"
• "You're dating Monica...I think about her when I masturbaaa...uhh I didn't mean to say that"

Thhhthh-thh-that's all folks!

Getting back on the wheel

Yesterday I was reunited with an old love - ceramics. It didn't matter that the whole class was a review, or that the instructor had to call my name like 3 times to get my attention because I got so lost in the mesmerizing spiral of the clay. All that mattered was that after over 2 years I finally got back on the wheel and am officially addicted once again. It's like this amazing drug and all it took was one fix and now I'm hooked again.

There is something so relaxing about throwing and the closest I can come to describing the feeling is when I'm sitting at that wheel with my hands on the clay, its like the whole outside world is silenced and for the time being there are no pressing assignments or worries, there is no family or social drama, and there are no disruptions. All of my attention and energy is focused on the clay and even my mind is quiet.

So, when you can't find me this summer or next semester and I'm not answering my cell, its probably because I am lost in the basement of WSH in the ceramics studio.

The Start of a New Decade of my Life

Oh so classy in our tiaras and big sunglasses.

Mmm mmm good and cheers for the birthday girls!

In celebrating MJ's (6.18) and my (6.19) 20th birthdays I took the time to reflect upon how much has happened in the first two decades of my life, and I can only imagine what my 20s will have in store for me.
One thing is for sure though, my life will always continue to be utterly ridiculous, just like I like it :)

This is why I love Ithaca Summers :)

woot woot

I just signed up for ceramics classes for the summer!! I'm super excited to start back up again...not many people at CU know this, but ceramics was seriously my life junior and senior year of high school. When I came here one of the first things I did was sign up for a studio pass, but then I never went because I was always "too busy." So even though I probably already know everything this class is going to teach me, I figure the only way I'll actually go is if I'm in one of the classes. I bet the class will actually really help because I'm sure my skills are rusty and I never really was a top notch ceramicist, I just enjoyed it.

*does happy dance*

The idea is once I get hooked again I'll keep it up next semester. After all, there is nothing like smacking a ball of clay around to alleviate all the stresses and frustrations of college life.

Ah-ha

I just had a really wonderful conversation with sydney that helped to put a lot of things into perspective for me. First of all I realized that this past year has given me plenty of opportunities to digest and reflect on many of the experiences that have had a profound impact on my life, in addition to dealing with the new obstacles that have been thrown my way. In a way I'm actually glad that I have had this strange assortment of experiences because it has made me the person I am today.

My second realization is a reitteration of something I think I've always known and kind of seems like common sense at first. But tonight it showed itself in a new light and made me appreciate it that much more: in order to truly understand where a person is coming from you need to be aware of the situations and events that have shaped and defined their concept of self.

Like I said, not a new thought. But what is new is I realized that there are plenty of people I feel I know well enough that they should know this about me, but don't. It's not that I haven't wanted to share this part of me or don't feel comfortable, but rather its not like it comes up in conversation easily and its almost inappropriate to force it unnaturally into a convo. I also am well aware that there are people who probably wouldn't want to know this or would be highly uncomfortable having these conversations, and I can totally respect that as well.

I guess where I'm going with this is that there are certain people in my life that I feel deserve to know these details and currently don't. I have a few people in mind, but because a lot of the friends I'm referring to read this thing regularly, I'm posing this challenge to you: If you consider yourself one of my good friends and want to know me better, let me know and I will be sure to let you in my circle. My only request is that you respect my judgement as to the appropriate time and place to do so.

Updates have been a long time coming

So not having internet in the apartment has meant a slight blogging hiatus, along with a forced separation from my beloved gmail, both of which I think has been relaxing. Which only goes to prove that I am going through a weird phase where I actually despise all of my technological gadgets that keep me so "connected" to the rest of the world. It's taxing knowing that anyone can reach you at any time thanks to cell phones and the internet. Oh, and I've started boycotting my phone at times, so don't take it personally if I don't answer or return calls, k? Yes I'm crazy and I already know that.

But enough of my rambling, back to the original purpose of this blog...updates!

So I moved back to Ithaca last Wed and into my beautiful sublet with the amazing Syd, conveniently located in the same building as the liquor store and across the street from Jason's. I couldn't have asked for a more centrally located apartment and the only complaint so far is that that apartment is cold. Yes, I said it...in the midst of an Ithaca summer our apartment is AC-less, and yet still cold. But the cold will be much appreciated once the muggy, nasty, Ithaca humidity infiltrates the area and we're all dying of heat.

Living with Syd is awesome and I'm sure I'll be very very sad to go back to RA life come August, because we're having a blast. Oh, and I have taken up cooking as a new sort of hobby so if you're in Ithaca and and you want to come over for dinner, by all means you are welcome to.

Work is going well, kinda. I have things to do, but still don't have access to one of the sites I really need in order to complete some things. But I think I'll end up making work for myself for the summer a lot of the time because people really don't seem to care what they're paying me to do, just as long as the few tasks they do want done get done.

Ok, well seeing as I'm "working" right now I should probably get back to that...

Bits and Pieces

Its strange being home. I can't really describe it because I'm so ready to go back to college life and stop hearing all the "Lindsey play with me" or "Lindsey can you help me do ?" But at the same time I'm soaking it in and never want to leave.

I feel like a chameleon in the fact that I blend into whatever surroundings I'm in. When I'm at my dad's house I'm a big sister, a playmate, and a responsible daughter. When I'm at my mom's house I (to a certain extent) get to play the "kid" again, while being a responsible and caring person. When I'm with my friends from high school I tend to revert back to our goofy and giddy way. At school I'm all over the place...I don't feel like I'm all that responsible a lot of the time when I'm with certain people *coughmelindacough* but then as an RA I have to at least act responsible for that part of my life. Its particularly draining to decide which "Lindsey" I'm going to be every time I change settings.

I know that this is just part of everyone's life - that they put on different fronts depending on the circumstances, but it makes me wonder which one is the real me? Am I pretending at home? Am I pretending at school? I'm sure that its a blend of all the different "mes." I think that its important to know how to act in certain situations, especially because it wouldn't be appropriate to act the same way I do with my friends when I'm with my 3 year old sister or with my boss, but I think its also important to make sure that in any situation I'm not really pretending to be someone different from who I really am. And since my concept of self is always changing, this might be more difficult than it would seem.

Anyways, being home has definitely helped me to relax and reflect on a lot of things. I know that regardless of how I feel about leaving home, I'm in a good place and have had time to clear my head.