The Vacation From Hell

After what will most assuredly go down as one of the most, uhhh "memorable" family vacations in history, I am finally home. And by home, I mean what my parents consider to be home, because as of now I am currently homeless. But enough about my current living status, let's get back to my trip...

Each year my dad's parents treat their entire side of the family to a week at "The Beach," otherwise known as Ocean City, MD. My dad and his brother and sisters have been going there since they were kids and it has become a family tradition that has kept me close to my cousins who live in Pitt and has become one of the highlights of the summer.

The car ride there was extremely uneventful, with little to no traffic and it all seemed to be too good to be true. And wasn't that the case...we arrive to find out that it was supposed to rain every day besides monday (so much for sunbathing on the beach...) and that my cousin had been throwing up the entire night before (hooray for contagious stomach bugs...NOT). I guess you could say we got lucky with the weather, because the only times it rained was between 10pm and 6am and we had a lovely and warm week at the beach. If only I could say so much about the stomach bug...

Let me break it down for you...There were 22 of us that were able to make it this year. 18 in the 2 condos, and 4 in a hotel room down the road. Of the 22 of us, 15 contracted this vicious stomach bug. Of the 9 people in my condo, only one person escaped the vomiting escapades. I spent nearly all of Tuesday and Wednesday in bed battling to keep my food down, and thought I had been able to conveniently avoid puking...if only. Wednesday night, I was the ONLY person in my 7 person family NOT throwing up, which meant that when my six year old brother decided to puke excorcist style all over my 2 year old sister, I was the lucky one who got to clean it all up. It got to the point where there was nothing you could do but laugh because the whole thing had become so ridiculously out of hand it was comical in a disgustingly tragic way.

My grandma started to wonder if maybe the dishwasher wasn't getting hot enough to disinfect the eating utensils, so every load also included a hefty dose of bleach. My stepmom brought a 32-load size container of washing detergent and we ran out. Needless to say the condos reeked of something nasty that event the "odor absorbing" arm and hammer crap couldn't mask the smell. I fear for the next people who rent the condo and have taken on the notion that the owners would be better off burning everything...

I thought I had paid my dues by missing two gorgeous and sunny days at the beach, but no, oh no, cruel fate had something else in store for me...Friday night my family usually goes out for seafood and I always order steamed crabs (there is no place like maryland to get fresh crabs!). I had been feeling fine for more than 2 days now and didn't even think twice about going for seafood. Well, not long after dinner I began to wonder if I should have eaten any crabs at all...My cousin dragged me out for icecream at the icecream castle (conveniently placed next to hooters where the sign reads "icecream castle hooters") and I opted for a slushy, thinking it would go down a bit easier...

After finishing packing and spending what seemed like hours on the phone *coughPinarcough* I finally got off to bed, only to be awoken to perform my own puking-pyrotechnics...I'll spare you all the gross details, but I will say I have never hurled so hard in my life. I pulled just about every muscle in my stomach and found new meaning in the term "dry heaving." (Just for the record, it is possible to continue puking long after your stomach has been emptied...) While my parents were forced to push back our departure until I had stabilized (aka puked all I could puke) the car ride was still less than enjoyable. Every stop and turn lead to new levels of pain in my head, and trying to sleep sitting up while listening to my stepmom reading The Big Red Barn over my sister's screams did not allow for peaceful slumber. Luckily I am feeling much, MUCH better just in time to figure out what the heck is going on with my life at Cornell...

All I know is I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy...

On a more positive note, the girl who always burns walked away from her vacation at the beach without having burned her face once and only a slightly burned chest...hooray for spf 30!

Washing, and sorting, and packing, oh my!

When did it become the end of the summer? Where did the past two months go, because I sure as heck do not feel as though my summer should be over so soon. Of course I still have Ocean City and SSC to look forward to, but I mean I'm packing and I definitely don't feel ready to leave this place yet.

I have so much to do, so much to get ready for...I seriously don't see how I'll be able to pull this one off. I've weaseled my way through some amazing shit in the past, but packing my entire apartment up before I go to work Friday will take more than my skills have to offer. And thats just the start of it all. I still have to survive the awkward shuffle of moving out of the apartment and into my dorm with a week of limbo in between and no boxes to pack with and no vehicle to move stuff with. Yes, I am in desperate need of a miracle. Not to mention half of my stuff is still in Roch and half the stuff I have in Ithaca I won't need during the school year...*sigh*

I know it will all work itself out--it always does. Until then I'll just worry myself into a jittery, sleep-deprived, caffeine addicted wretch.

Back to sorting, packing, and that creepy laundry room...

Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting. ~John Russell

light bulb moment

It just hit me. Here I am instant messaging my 14 year old cousin in Pittsburgh, who is uploading photos of her new crush from vacation and sending them to me via direct connect, while at the same time I am on CNN.com watching clips from the bombings in Israel and Lebanon, logging into skype which allows me to talk to anyone in the world, and receiving emails from @ers around the globe.

Sure, I read Friedman and agreed with most of his ideas, but that was logic and this is different. Its like the light bulb just went on and my brain woke up saying: "HELLOOOO!!! THE WORLD IS FLAT!"

Think on this...

I've been doing a lot of thinking a lot lately. Maybe its the fact that I've been doing mindless jobs at work, where my thoughts drift off and can contemplate it all. Maybe its because I've been spending a lot of time in silence, alone with my own thoughts or maybe its just the point I'm at in life. Whatever the case may be, I think its good for me. I've been able to reflect and sort some things out.

I started reading Prozac Nation by Elizabeth Wurtzel earlier this week, and I'm not sure what to make of it. Don't get me wrong, its a great book and I highly reccommend it--but rather I'm not sure what to make of my own thoughts and feelings. Mental illness is a tricky thing and society (myself included) treats it so much differently than any other type of ailment. Its like because there are no physical, tangible symptoms--nothing to stick a bandaid on, it must either a) be a load of shit or b) feared like the plague.

Wurtzel's story about a girl with depression has hit me incredibly close to home and a lot harder than I ever would have expected. The fact of the matter is that someone very close to me is and has been clinically depressed for years. Ever since I can remember, I have had a tough time dealing with this concept of "depression." How could it be that someone just didn't--couldn't--see all of the reasons worth living for? And, why couldn't they just snap out of it? I've always been a firm believer that you have to take your life by the reigns and that you and only you can make yourself happy. But what happens to that theory when you apply it to depressed people? What if you couldn't make yourself happy, like literally had no control over your own happiness or emotions? I can't even imagine such a state. Maybe thats why its so hard for people to accept mental illnesses. Because its not something that is easy to describe or easy to relate to. You tell someone you have a broken leg, they think "oww that must hurt" and even if they've never broken a bone, they still understand the concept of pain. You tell someone you have a broken spirit, and well they tell you to lighten up and snap out of it. It's like depression is only comprehensible to those who have had it. Like because everyone who isn't depressed can just snap out of it and make themselves happy they can't fathom not having the power to do so. At least I know that I can't.

But seriously, all I can think about as I read this is how lucky I am to be in control of my own happiness (go ahead, fight me on my overly optimistic take on this) and how unfairly I've judged the severely depressed person close to me, simply because I couldn't understand how she felt and viewed life. Rather than real, sincere support, all I've offered is the fake smile and cliche "everything will be all right." But honestly, how do you offer genuine support to someone for something you simply cannot comprehend?

And because I cannot end this blog on such a depressing note, I'll switch topics. So I was sitting in Dewitt Park (awesome!) reading on my lunch today when I look up and see a 13 or 14 year old girl playing with, and presumeably watching a 4 or 5 year old little girl. And it made me smile. If I was back in 2619, this would definately qualify as my "good" for GBL (nooo, not what you think, Good-Bad-Learned, which is something the four coolest girls in McLLU did every night before bed, until we got too lazy or sleepy or unmotivated...) Anyways, it brought me back. Back to being 13 or 14 and absolutely loving every moment I spent "babysitting" my cousins' kids Amanda and Matthew. Back to being wild, crazy, carefree, and most of all appreciative for the good, wholesome things in life. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret any of the fun times I've had at Cornell (and comparatively I'm still pretty wholesome I suppose). However, it was like seeing those two girls was a glimpse of the past and I'm sure it was only enhanced by the fact that they reminded me of myself and little Amanda, or my sister Emily. Which also reminds me of how much I miss my brothers and sisters. Sure, they drive me nuts when I'm home and give me unbearable headaches...but I've grown exceedingly attached to the little buggers and really do miss them. People complain about being the oldest (I am by no means saying it doesn't have a lot of bad aspects) but I truly enjoy it. I've had the opportunity to grow close with my 16 year old brother, and have had the pleasure (and pain...) of playing a crucial role in the lives of my 3 youngest siblings. And that--influencing the development of those munchkins--I wouldn't trade for the world.

I think people that have a brother or sister don't realize how lucky they are. Sure, they fight a lot, but to know that there's always somebody there, somebody that's family. ~Trey Parker and Matt Stone

Its amazing how a few short conversations with a few old friends can renew faith in humankind.

A wake up call

Ok, so I'm betting Arthur's been anxiously awaiting a post on Friedman, and I've finally got a free moment and a head full of thoughts to do so.

My opinion is yes, the world is flat, and yes, the U.S. is going to in for some deep shit if we don't switch gears immediately. (Go ahead Pinar and criticize my agreement all you want, but really your opinion holds no weight until you've read it too)

There's so many different things Friedman brings up that are great discussion points--outsourcing, innovation, the factors and forces that created this flat world--just to name a few. But something that particularly struck me was his chapter on the decline in science and engineering in the US. I guess I've noticed this before, but never really took the time to realize the impact this would have on the American society and economy. Half of the scientists and engineers in America are over 40 years old, which means that half of the scientists and engineers will be retiring in the next 20 years. The loss of half the current leaders of innovation in the country, coupled with the steady decline of citizens pursuing this field will, in effect, cause a massive disruption in our current place in the technological world. The result is simple: without the top engineers and scientists we will not be able to develop the top products and compete with countries who have more skilled people. The past decade, we haven't seen much change because the lack of US college students has been replaced by international S&E students. However, as Jackson points out, this is a quiet crisis because the effects will be so gradual that by the time America wakes up and realizes that we're fucked, it'll be too late to stop the crisis. This is mainly because of the lag in cultivating new S&E professionals.

America needs to wake up, smell the coffee and realize that kids need to have an interest in science from the get-go. The American education system is, to put it in the most polite way possible, ineffectively instilling the value of knowledge. I could probably turn this blog into an epic by delving into all the issues we have with education in this country, so I'll save that for a later date (anyone interested in getting into what will be a looong discussion, feel free to bring this up with me sometime...). But basically what it comes down to is that children don't see value in math and science. Kennedy sparked the nation's interest during the space race, but I don't see a presidential plea getting anywhere with today's kids. All politics regarding Bush aside, kids don't respect the government, their teachers, or education. Hell, why should they when their parents don't either? In my writing sem this spring, we read an article titled "America Skips School" by Benjamin Barber in which the answer was simple: In order to inspire children to value school and want to learn, we cannot blame them for their lack of motivation; rather it is society's responsibility to value learning so that children will learn to value it too. Society is opperating on a "do as i say not as i do" mentality, but the truth is that children are much more intuitive than that. They are determine value from their parents actions and the media. (Once again, media=lots of strong opinions I won't ramble on about now...)

If we want to encourage learning, namely in S&E, we need to convey their value and in order to do that America is going to have to undergo a large scale societal change, which is much easier said than done. Unfortunately, I don't forsee this happening without some drastic turning point that forces Americans to realize the state things are in. Such an event or incident will most likely occur after the time is too late, in which case not only will America have to switch gears, but we will also have to play catch-up. I'm hoping that there is a better solution, or that I'm underestimating American willpower and motivation, but still I am doubtful. It would take a tremendous push from the advocates of the flat world and their supporters to create enough noise around the issue to get the attention of the rest of the population. Sure, the educated and interested can talk amongst themselves all they want, but unless this message gets across to the bulk of the population--those it pertains to most--it won't actually facilitate societal change.

So much more I could blog about, but I'm physically drained...so I shall close with what definately is not the most inspirational quotation, but the most memorable/ cutesie in my mind...

In China today, Bill Gates is Britney Spears. In America today, Britney Spears is Britney Spears--and that is our problem. ~Thomas Friedman