What about shyness?
I read a quotation in a friend's facebook profile a few days ago that I can't seem to shake from my mind (See what procrastination leads me to...)
Shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we perform, is truly important to other people. ~Andre Dubus
I had never really thought of it like that. Shyness is generally attributed to lack of self confidence, but is it actually narcissistic as well? I guess lack of self-consciousness can develop into narcissism if you become so enthralled by your own appearance, gestures, and actions that you begin to obsess over yourself.
While I have never really considered myself "shy" because my personality lends itself to being outgoing, I am definitely self-conscious. As I walked across campus this morning, suddenly wishing I had remembered to put on earrings or had taken the time to put on makeup, I asked myself: why? First of all, do I really care what other people think of me? I decided that for the most part, no. The people that do influence me are those closest to me, and they don't care anyways. Second, why would I think that how I look would matter to people around me any more than how they look matters to me? I realized that this was the sort of narcissism Dubus is talking about. Feeling like your demeanor is important to other people.
So self-consciousness is narcissistic, but is shyness really? I started thinking about this too and in all the situations that I might be labeled "shy." I determined that I'm usually only shy in unfamiliar situations (ie. being thrown into a group of people I don't know, but who know each other) and when I'm faced with something I am not well acquainted with (ie. in class if I haven't done the reading). The reason I act shy in certain situations is because I am not confident in myself or because I have not acclimated to the situation yet. There are very few people I know who don't get shy in some situations and as long as its not in excess I think this is perfectly normal.
I don't know why I find this so intriguing...perhaps thinking about it is just a better alternative to studying. Speaking of which, I need to get back to. 3 days, 3 exams, and 1 paper left to go!
Shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we perform, is truly important to other people. ~Andre Dubus
I had never really thought of it like that. Shyness is generally attributed to lack of self confidence, but is it actually narcissistic as well? I guess lack of self-consciousness can develop into narcissism if you become so enthralled by your own appearance, gestures, and actions that you begin to obsess over yourself.
While I have never really considered myself "shy" because my personality lends itself to being outgoing, I am definitely self-conscious. As I walked across campus this morning, suddenly wishing I had remembered to put on earrings or had taken the time to put on makeup, I asked myself: why? First of all, do I really care what other people think of me? I decided that for the most part, no. The people that do influence me are those closest to me, and they don't care anyways. Second, why would I think that how I look would matter to people around me any more than how they look matters to me? I realized that this was the sort of narcissism Dubus is talking about. Feeling like your demeanor is important to other people.
So self-consciousness is narcissistic, but is shyness really? I started thinking about this too and in all the situations that I might be labeled "shy." I determined that I'm usually only shy in unfamiliar situations (ie. being thrown into a group of people I don't know, but who know each other) and when I'm faced with something I am not well acquainted with (ie. in class if I haven't done the reading). The reason I act shy in certain situations is because I am not confident in myself or because I have not acclimated to the situation yet. There are very few people I know who don't get shy in some situations and as long as its not in excess I think this is perfectly normal.
I don't know why I find this so intriguing...perhaps thinking about it is just a better alternative to studying. Speaking of which, I need to get back to. 3 days, 3 exams, and 1 paper left to go!
posted by Lindsey at
8:54 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home